Well, here I go. I have finally opened up the laptop to do something other than pay a bill, buy some crap the kids need, scroll on Facebook (I know I just aged myself) or watch HULU while I am working. I am going to write. Write about the everyday crap in our lives, the not so everyday crap and the crap we all deal with.
Some of the crap I need to see if I am crazy or if maybe, just maybe others feel the same (I FN hope so anyway…) I am literally asking myself, “Is this really what I signed up to do? Did I really say “I do” all those years for this type of marriage? Did I really push and push to adopt our kids to live this kind of life? Am I really satisfied with the career I now have? Is this the life that makes me happy? Am I failing as a mother? Am I failing as a wife? Failing as a daughter? A sister? A friend? A cousin? An Aunt?
I also want to explore some of the thoughts that just down right piss me off in this life I have. To identify if I am warranted to be upset by certain things or if I am just being irrational. I feel as thought there are far too many times that I flip out at myself, my kids, the dogs, my husband, the TV or whatever inanimate object that happens to be in my way.
Granted, the only time I have found to start this journey is at 11:31pm on a Friday night. It may not seem super late to many, but it has been a freaking day. For this shit show day – 11:31pm comes slapping me in the face after surviving another day. Today wasn’t overly horrible; I didn’t have to go to any appointments outside of the house. That is always something to be grateful for!
Nope, just another day for this old mom. I got up at 6:30am, woke our 12 year old son up and sent out the door for school. Then came the taming of the house. I proceeded to unloaded/reloaded the dishwasher, fold and put away laundry, sorted and started more laundry, picked up the kitchen, living room and bedroom. I made sure to make our bed (who else saw the internet famous graduation speech, “if you do anything in a day; make your bed. Then you will have always accomplished at least one thing in a hectic life.” Or something to that context. Welp, I fell for it. Not going to lie, the speaker wasn’t wrong. I do love getting into a made bed. Now, the freshness of the sheets is a whole other post!). The next mammals seeing my attention are our three mutts. It was their turn to be fed, played with for a bit and given their morning Greenies to brush their teeth.
After all of the other members of the household are tended to, it’s now my turn! I have just enough time to throw some clothes on (no shower at this moment!) (I hate showering. Why is that? I love it when it’s all said and done. But the thought of all of that effort in the mornings does not thrill me at all!), fix a big mug of coffee (three Splenda packages and milk is my jam…) and head into my home office to log on for my real job-the job that actually pays me money..
have to get up in 6 hours so that I can drive three and a half hours to watch my daughter perform for approximately 8 minutes total (two dance performances and one cheerleading performance) to then drive back home an additional three and half hours. BUT, I am taking the time to write some of my stuff.
Writing is something I have always wanted to do, I have just never known where to start. It’s never been about making up stories but more about my life being something that has to be fictional; because I didn’t sign up for this shit.
Did I Really Sign Up For This? 